They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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