Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So much rum. So many feels.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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