my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
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its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
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He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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