Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
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She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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