There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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