you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
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the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
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Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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