just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
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I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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