ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize