did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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