I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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