I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize