Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
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now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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