I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
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dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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