Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize