somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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