i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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