she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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