Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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