Texts From Last Night

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  (915): View more from Texas

  i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure

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  (915): i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure http://tfl.nu/p6xi
  Replies (22) Good night (3440) Bad night (1515) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.

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  (610): Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man. http://tfl.nu/0eqn
  Replies (9) Good night (2292) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.

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  (509): def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout. http://tfl.nu/bt4a
  Replies (5) Good night (4025) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...

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  (604): I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked... http://tfl.nu/ab3l
  Replies (27) Good night (6587) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories

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  (248): no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories http://tfl.nu/4m9s
  Replies (23) Good night (943) Bad night (4182) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.

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  (306): Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off. http://tfl.nu/xf2g
  Replies (10) Good night (4066) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.

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  (612): My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment. http://tfl.nu/bb74
  Replies (8) Good night (4335) Bad night (1267)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.

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  (502): Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication. http://tfl.nu/d8fz
  Replies (4) Good night (1826) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Who is this?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?

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  (603): Who is this? (1-603): You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo (603): Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this? http://tfl.nu/iabt
  Replies (5) Good night (2475) Bad night (826)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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  (484): pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you. http://tfl.nu/yyvw
  Replies (2) Good night (1555) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.

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  (602): I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now. http://tfl.nu/tbsd
  Replies (24) Good night (2162) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.

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  (604): The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her. http://tfl.nu/woml
  Replies (7) Good night (1655) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka

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  (343): The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka http://tfl.nu/nkji
  Replies (4) Good night (944) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.

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  (214): I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano. http://tfl.nu/5l5s
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.

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  (856): I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree. http://tfl.nu/ftwn
  Replies (4) Good night (296) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt

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