I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
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I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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