So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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