You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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