Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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