I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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