Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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