We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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