it was like his penis was on wheels.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize