I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
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Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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