let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize