I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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