hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
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She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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