I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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