Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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