you would pick up someone in the library
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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