I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize