things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
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Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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