i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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