A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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