'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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