At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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