I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize