You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
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those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
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Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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