I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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