I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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