so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i think i just lost a toe
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