I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
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