last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
All the doctor said was why
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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