omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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