meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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