Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize